What actually stops bullying (it's not 'ignore it')

Retire the old advice

"Just ignore them" fails because bullying is a behaviour hunting for a reaction, and ignoring is itself a visible reaction that reads as defeat while providing no protection. "Hit back" fails harder: it escalates, transfers all risk to your child, and hands the school a both-sides incident. What works is less cinematic: reduce the payoff, increase the cost, and never let the child carry it alone.

At the child's level

Coach the neutral response: tall posture, level chin, flat calm voice, "okay", "if you say so", then unhurried movement toward other people. Not because posture magically stops bullies, but because it denies the jackpot reaction while your child exits to safety. Adjust the terrain too: bullying lives in unsupervised gaps (corridors, buses, group chats), so route around hotspots and build lunchtime anchors, a club, a library pass, one reliable friend. And rehearse at home like a drill, lightly, so the moves are grooved before they're needed.

At the adult level, where it's actually solved

Keep a dated log of incidents. Report to the school in writing, ask what their anti-bullying policy commits them to, request specific actions with a review date, and follow up in writing. Persistent, polite, documented pressure is what moves schools. Online: screenshot before blocking, report on-platform, and involve school when it's schoolmates, group-chat bullying at 10pm walks into the classroom at 9am.

And repair the damage

Bullying's real wound is the story the child starts believing about themselves. Counter it deliberately: name what happened as the other child's behaviour problem, not your child's deficiency, rebuild confidence in arenas they're strong in, and keep the conversation door visibly open. Watch for lingering low mood or school avoidance, and bring in your GP if it lingers.

Educational content, not medical advice. Concerned about your child? Speak to your GP.