Descriptive praise: a 2-minute masterclass

The rule

Say what you saw. Not what you think of it, not what it says about them: what you saw, in enough detail that they could do it again on purpose.

Before and after

"Good boy" becomes "you put your shoes by the door without being asked." "Great work" becomes "you checked your answer before you moved on." "You're so kind" becomes "you gave her the bigger half." "Well done for calming down" becomes "you took three breaths and then you told me what was wrong."

Why it works

It is believable, because it is true and specific. It is repeatable, because it names the action. It is not a judgement, so it does not make the child dependent on your verdict. And for a child who hears mostly correction, it quietly changes the ratio without a chart or a reward.

The habit

Start the sentence with "you" and a verb. "You waited." "You started." "You tried a different way." Aim for five a day. Say them flatly if it feels odd at first. The words do the work, not the tone.

Educational content, not medical advice. Concerned about your child? Speak to your GP.