The perfect wind-down hour, minute by minute

The hour before bed is the sleep

Most bedtime fights are lost an hour before bed, when the body is still running at daytime speed and is asked to stop. A wind-down is not a list of things to do. It is a slope, the same slope every night, that the body learns to slide down.

60 minutes out

Screens off, for real, and the lights down. Bright light tells the body clock it is daytime. If there is a last burst of energy to burn, this is the moment: a wrestle, a dance, heavy work like carrying or pushing, which settles seekers rather than winding them up. Then a warm bath if it suits your child. The cooling afterwards helps sleep arrive.

40 minutes out

Pyjamas, teeth, toilet, in the same order every night, on a visual schedule if your child likes to see what comes next. Then the bedroom: dim, cool, quiet or masked with steady noise, the same every night. Predictability is the point. A wind-down that changes each night is not a wind-down.

20 minutes out

Story, read by you, or listened to. The stories on this site are written to end with a breathing exercise, so the story does the settling. Then the worry drop: anything on the mind is said out loud or written on a slip and put in the jar, to be dealt with tomorrow. Then three slow breaths together.

Lights out

The same goodnight words every night, and out. If your child needs you nearby to fall asleep, sit further away each week rather than leaving suddenly. Nothing exciting happens after lights out. If they get up, back to bed with as few words as possible, every time.

Educational content, not medical advice. Concerned about your child? Speak to your GP.