The feelings thermometer technique

A number is easier than a word

Ask a dysregulated child how they feel and you get "fine" or a scream. Ask how big the feeling is, one to ten, and you very often get a number. The thermometer works because it does not require the child to name or explain anything. It only asks for a size, and sizing a feeling is the first step of managing it.

Build it together in calm time

Draw a thermometer, or print the Emotion Check-In Wheel from the toolkit. Together, decide what one looks like ("sleepy on the sofa"), what five looks like ("wobbly, can't concentrate") and what ten looks like ("shouting, can't stop"). Use the child's own words and, if they like, their own drawings. Put it on the wall.

Use it early

The skill is catching a four before it is an eight. Check in at predictable times, after school, before homework, at bedtime, with one question: "Where are you on the thermometer?" Then match the response to the number. A three needs nothing. A six needs a break, a snack, some movement. An eight needs the 2-Minute Reset, not a conversation.

Model it

Say your own number out loud. "I'm at a six, I'm going to make a cup of tea before we talk about this." A child who watches an adult read and manage their own thermometer learns more than from any explanation.

Educational content, not medical advice. Concerned about your child? Speak to your GP.