Talking to teens about what they see online

They will see things

Violence, pornography, self-harm content, cruelty, extremist bait, and endless people who appear happier, richer and thinner than anyone real. No filter stops all of it, and a teenager who is told they will never see it learns only that you are not the person to tell when they do. The goal is not a child who sees nothing. It is a child who comes to you.

Be curious before you are worried

"What's the worst thing you've seen this week?" asked lightly, in the car, not at the table, with your eyes on the road. Then listen without reacting. The reaction is the thing that ends the conversation. If you cannot manage no reaction, say "I need a minute with that" and come back to it.

Give them the tools

How to block, mute, report, and leave a group. That the feed is designed to keep them there and that noticing this is a kind of power. That any adult, or anyone they have only met online, who asks them to keep a secret from you is not a friend, whatever they say, and that this is the one rule with no exceptions. A real friend telling them something worrying about themselves is a different thing entirely, and the answer there is not to keep it alone either: it is to bring it to you, or to another adult, without it being a betrayal. That a screenshot exists forever. Short, repeated, never as a lecture.

For neurodivergent teens especially

Literal minds need it said plainly: people online can and do lie. Rejection-sensitive minds need to hear that a slow reply is not a verdict. Impulsive minds need a pause built in before posting: "if in doubt, send it to me first." And all of them need to know that being targeted is never their fault, and that telling you will not cost them the phone.

Educational content, not medical advice. Concerned about your child? Speak to your GP.